Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
