i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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