At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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