She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
