When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
