Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My ass is underappreciated
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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