Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
