Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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