i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
