You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
