I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i think im in europe. pls send help
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
