he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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