exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
