I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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