i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
