considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
