I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
