And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
