Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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