if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
