Im at strip club and am horny
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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