let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's blow job season.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
