Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
