I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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