If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
MIDGETS
????
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
as a side note pls kill me
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
