Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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