And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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