I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
