I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I came so hard my ears popped.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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