i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
