Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
