its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
