You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i already hear my dad disowning me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
