I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Why are your pants in the freezer?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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