I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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