So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
