Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
