I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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