Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
