I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Girls should come with a carfax report
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Randomize
