I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
