im drinking this country out of the recession.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
