I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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