come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
