yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
