it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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