Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
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