before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
