Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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