did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
