I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
