One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
