If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
